Mayan Insider Scoop! Developed Armageddon “Prophecy” After Tequila Bender

SKULL VALLEY, ARIZONA—  It seems that impending doom is not upon us, after all.

Sources close to the Mayan high command confirm that the end of the world predicted for Dec. 12, 2012 was created as part of a prank which occurred after the annual Mayan holiday party celebration. Two calendar-makers, tentatively identified as Jorge and Frank, imbibed a bit too much as part of the traditional “sun ritual” and thought it would be funny to make a few slight alterations to the calendar they were creating.

In addition to the Armageddon date, Jorge and Frank included such made-up events as “Worship Of The Ferrets”, “Day of Farting”, and “FRANK ROOLZ!!!” within the regular assortment of Mayan holidays. Since the calendar had already been proofread, the new “holidays” were not caught until the official carvings were already made.

Cataclysmic events such as changes in the earth’s gravitational pull, global warming, and alien invasions have been associated with reaching the13th b’ak’tun, as predicted in the false prophecy.  Jorge and Frank have both been removed from their official calendar duties and have been reassigned to the ziggurat cleaning crews.

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