Use Your Inside Voices: Tips From A Banshee Babysitter

SATANS KINGDOM, VERMONT — As we all know, children can be little angels or little devils. If you’re tapped to be the responsible party for a little ghoul (or ghoulette) this weekend, you may need some sage advice. Caitlin O’ The Wisp has been minding wee ones for nigh on five centuries and offered these suggestions:

  • Bring some things to play with like a notebook, magazines, or colored paper and markers. And if there’s a graveyard near, nothing beats a rousing game of flashlight tag!
  • If they’re yelling as part of a temper tantrum, go ahead and shriek along with them. It confuses the heck out of them (for a minute). Once they’re looking at you in confusion, you can distract them with a toy or a treat.
  • If the children start to fight amongst themselves, leave them be–they’ll usually work it out within a few minutes. If not, the evil eye or a compulsion curse can be your best friend.
  • Scary stories are a great before-bed treat. If you choose the right one, they will be quietly petrified and frozen in place for hours. Caitlin recommends “Axe Murder Hollow”, “The Tale of the Storm Hag” or “Where’s My Liver?”
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