MUNSTER, INDIANA— Things are getting hairy in the Olympic Village.
Sunday evening, a review board met to determine whether wolfsbane should be added to the banned substance list established in 1999. Wolfsbane is rumored to have a narcotic effect on the user, decreasing sensation to allow athletes to continue with training or competition after serious injury.
Team Transylvania has lodged an official protest, saying the herbs are part of their team’s traditional athletic preparation and provide no unfair advantages to athletes other than mild hunger pangs, the desire to rub up against doorframes (or roll on a fluffy rug), and “a totally mellow chill”.
Wolfsbane, also known as monkshood and Devil’s helmet, is one of over 250 species of flowering plants belonging to the buttercup family.