GENEVA, SWITZERLAND – The American Association of Reanimated Ghouls and Haunts (AARGH) announced today that they will formally protest Doctor Frankenstein Laboratories and all of its sub companies, including Frankenstein Footwear and Frankenstein Interior Design Services, claiming the company’s medical experiments violate non-human rights and are excruciatingly painful.
“Zee Muh Nuh Nuh UHHHH GAAAAAAH!” said the EU spokesman for the union, whose membership numbers in the hundreds of thousands across Europe and the world. Mr. Phillipe LeMux, a former wine steward, further condemned the brainy scientist’s practices, saying, “STOOOP! Noooooo! ARRRRG!” in a prepared statement.
Sissy Frankenstein, spokeswoman for Frankenstein Industries responded, insisting, “We are only working for the betterment of zombies and undead monsters everywhere. It is the policy of Frankenstein Industries to remove heads only when medically necessary and frankly, on a personal note, I’ve met a lot of people who would do better with new brains in their thick skulls.”
Zombie protestors took immediate offense to her statement and have vowed to lodge a protest swarm outside the company’s mountain-top headquarters.